


The Room

by storyplease



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Halloween, Happy Ending, Horror, Humor, Inferi, Spiders, Suspense, magical escape room, possible canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 05:13:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16423073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storyplease/pseuds/storyplease
Summary: It's Halloween night and both Harry and Ron have the night off. They're ready to really cut loose, but first, Harry has one small, mundane errand to run for George. Ron, of course, knows that there is no such thing as small, mundane errands when it comes to George Weasley. When he is proven right, it will test the bond of their friendship.





	The Room

**Author's Note:**

> With Halloween around the corner, I just couldn't resist writing about Harry and Ron as adults after the war. This is technically an AU (though I'd dearly love to have seen this happen in canon) but all the canon pairings and deaths are in place, including the names of Harry and Ron's children.

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Harry?" Ron was standing outside of Grimmauld Place as Harry joined him, wand in hand.

"It's not just a good idea; it's the  _best_  idea, Ron," Harry replied, his green eyes lighting up.

"Yeah, but what about Mione and Ginny?" Ron looked a bit sheepish. "They've got four kids to manage. Five if you count Lily-Lu, but she's still a bit uncooked-looking, and I doubt she'll be much trouble in her sling."

Harry snickered. "I would normally defend my disturbingly bald newborn, but after the last few weeks of getting up almost every night to walk her around the entire bloody house to get her back to sleep, I find that to be the most kind thing I can imagine saying of her."

"Drew the short straw, did you?" Ron asked, snorting loudly.

"Each time, mate. Each  _bloody_  time."

"Well, Ginny always did have all the luck in the family." Ron shrugged. "Say, what are the boys going as this year?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "They got this ridiculous idea and decided to go as a hippogriff."

"Hippogriff... _singular_?"

"Yep. James is the head and Albie is the back. Of course, considering James' behavior recently, I very nearly suggested they switch," Harry said ruefully. "What are Rose and Hugo going as?"

"Hugo wanted to be Newt Scamander. He's always been a big fan," Ron said. "Hagrid even sent him a real bowtruckle to complete the look. Hugo's over the moon, but Hermione isn't particularly happy with having to remind him to feed it every day. Rose is...well..a bit more eccentric. She's decided to go as a surprise."

Harry looked confused. "What sort of surprise?"

"Oh, she rigged it up with her mum. The two of them are clever as anything, though Rose seems to have inherited all of George's mischief and then some. It's basically a giant gift box that pops open, which activates a charm that somehow manifests scary objects. Imagine my horror when I saw it sitting on the table and opened it to reveal a giant bloody spider."

"Sounds clever but scary," Harry replied with a nod.

"Luckily, they don't last long. It scurried onto the floor and then disappeared in a puff of smoke." Ron looked relieved. "I was glad nobody was around to hear me shriek like a little girl."

"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me," Harry said, smiling. "Come on, then. Let's head out."

"You know I'm better at Apparition than you are, so I'll do the honours," Ron said, looking somewhat smug.

Harry gave him a pointed look but shrugged, took his arm, and they Side-Along Apparated to Diagon Alley without incident.

"I like the vampire costume," Ron said, elbowing Harry goodnaturedly as they made their way through the packed street. "Very dark and spooky."

"Thanks. I found it in a trunk in the attic." Harry flashed his charmed fangs and did his best Dracula impression. "I vill spare you this time! Muahahaha!"

"At least your costume has class," Ron lamented, pulling at his costume. "All that I could find in my size at the store was this ridiculous thing. Mione loved it; said it reminded her of Crooks, rest his grumpy old soul, but I'm still on the fence."

"I think it's brilliant, mate," Harry said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Ron was dressed head to toe in a soft, flannel, ginger cat costume, complete with a furry-eared hood and tail. Hermione had drawn whiskers on his cheeks with black face paint. Though the costume was very comfortable in the cold October evening, it made Ron feel fairly self-conscious. "I look ridiculous."

"But that's what Halloween is all about!" Harry replied. "Having fun! Cutting loose! And, since we both get the night off from parenting duty, a little rest and relaxation!"

"Fine." Ron didn't seem convinced. "So, then, where to first?"

"Well, first I promised George that I'd pick up a delivery for him," Harry said.

"That's odd," Ron replied. "He never mentioned it to me. Knowing him, there's a 99.9% chance it's a prank."

"I don't know," Harry said skeptically. "Besides, I doubt he'd have time to prepare something specifically for  _me_. He has been working on that fright maze for the kids in the backyard at the Burrow for the past three weeks."

"That may be true, but I wouldn't put it past him to try something funny," Ron said.

"Where's your sense of adventure, Ron?" Harry asked, grinning wickedly.

"If you must know, I think I lost it somewhere in the past decade of sleep deprivation," Ron shot back.

"It's only just down this side street. We're almost there anyway," Harry said, running past a sign labeled Easy Street.

"I must say that I hadn't imagined spending my night off playing errand boy for my brother," Ron grumbled.

"Woah!" Harry let out a low whistle, and Ron stopped abruptly so as not to barrel into his best friend. Peering over Harry's shoulder, Ron beheld a very curious sight.

There, at the end of the street, stood a small tent with silver moons and stars embroidered all over the exterior. A hand-lettered sign at the front in elegant cursive read:

_**Test Your Bond! One Night Only! Interested Parties Inquire Within.** _

Harry pulled a scrap of parchment from his pocket and checked the address. "Looks like this is the place."

"Yeah, well, I'll be a lot happier once we're back at the pub with a pint of Pumpkin Spice Firewhisky," Ron said, slightly put out. "It's bad enough that George sends me all over creation during business hours."

Harry ducked his head and entered the tent ahead of Ron, who was still pulling at the back of his costume where it was bunching up. He vaguely considered the merit of transfiguring them into robes before deciding that his Transfiguration skill level was nowhere near what he'd need to improve his clothing situation and he sighed, following Harry into the tent.

"Welcome, welcome, brave visitors on this, the spookiest night of the year!" A throaty cackle pierced the air, and Ron had to control the urge to roll his eyes. The witch behind the counter was dressed in such a cliche manner that he was almost embarrassed for her. From the long, warty nose to the stringy gray hair hidden by a traditional pointed hat, the woman behind the counter looked ancient.

"Happy Halloween, Madam," Harry said politely, "George Weasley sends his regards. I'm here to pick up the item he ordered."

"Weasley...ah yes! That name sounds familiar." The witch bent down and rummaged through a few things before pulling out a key with a metal embossed keyring that looked as though it belonged to an old-fashioned hotel. "Just go up the stairs and to the left. You can't miss it."

As she finished speaking, a staircase suddenly appeared to their left.

"Yeah, this definitely isn't suspicious  _at all,_ " Ron said sarcastically.

Harry sighed. "Well, if you really don't like it, you can wait here. I promised him I'd do it, Ron."

Ron gritted his teeth and suppressed the urge to echo Harry's words in a singsong voice. "You must be mental if you think I'd let you go on your own into Merlin-knows-what cockamamey scheme George has planned. But don't say I didn't warn you."

Harry had the decency to look relieved. "Thanks, mate."

As they climbed the stairs, Ron examined the keyring. "Looks like we're looking for door number three."

The second floor seemed to be filled with an enchanted mist. Ron was not impressed by this at all. It was more annoying than atmospheric, and he could feel the fur of his outfit growing damp. He cast a low-level breeze charm to blow away the worst of the fog, then cast a Warming Charm on himself.

"There it is!" Harry sounded excited, but Ron's mind was focused on the mental image of the limited edition Firewhisky he'd seen advertised at  _The_   _Leaky Caldron_.

"Here you go, mate," he said, tossing the key to Harry. "Friendly reminder that if it's heavy, I'm not carrying it."

Harry turned the key in the lock and then opened the door, letting out a gasp of wonder as he beheld what was inside. "You have to see this, Ron!"

"What?" Ron snapped out of his daydream and stepped in through the doorway after Harry.

Inside the room was a forest.

It wasn't a real forest by any means, but Ron was struck by the intricacy of the painted walls and the strategically placed houseplants. Even the bed and the dresser by the side wall seemed to have been grown from the ground instead of carved. The duvet on the bed was shaped like a massive leaf and the canopy above it was charmed to look like a weeping willow.

Ron immediately made his way to the bed and flopped down with a relieved sigh. "Ah, now  _this_  is the life."

Harry frowned and began to look around the room.

"What are you doing, Harry?" Ron asked. The bed was comfortable, and Ron was beginning to feel his eyes grow heavy. He'd almost drifted off when he heard Harry shout for him.

"Look, Ron! I've found something!"

Ron cracked open an eye and let out a weary sign. He dragged himself reluctantly from the bed. "This had better be good, mate."

He shuffled over to where Harry was standing.

"Well?" Harry asked expectantly.

"Well, what? You're the Auror, not me," Ron replied.

"But look!"

"Yeah, one of them fancy walk-in closets, so what?" Ron glanced back longingly towards the bed.

"Stop thinking about napping for a second and look!" Harry pointed a shaking finger at a small crack in the door.

"You're putting me on, aren't you?" Ron stepped forward and yanked open the door. "You see? There's noth—"

A gust of frigid air blasted them both in the face and he stumbled back, blinking as they beheld the impossible sight before them.

Lush, green ferns grew out of the walls on the inside of the door, which appeared to be made of some sort of rock, speckled with specks of sparkly minerals that shone when Harry nudged the tip of his lit wand in through the door. Beyond that was the roar of a massive waterfall, and a path that appeared to curve to the left around the back of it. Muted sunlight appeared to filter through the water, which was odd, since the sun had already set hours earlier.

"It's got to be some sort of illusion," Ron grumbled, drawing his arms around himself.

"I don't know," Harry said, stepping through the door. "But I'm going to find out."

"Really? You're going to walk in there? When we have a perfectly good—Harry!" Ron let out a snort of irritation and then followed.

As soon as they reached the waterfall, though, a gust of wind shot by them, and they heard the tell-tale sound of the closet door slamming. Ron immediately jogged back to open the door again, but when he reached the end of the trail, all he saw was solid rock.

"Ron, come on!" Harry's voice echoed down the trail, and Ron pulled out his wand, muttering under his breath.

"The bloody door disappeared!" Ron said, halfway out of breath as he finally caught up to Harry.

"I know," Harry said. His attention appeared to be focused on something carved into the massive stalagmite that lay in front of him.

"What?"

"There are instructions here. Looks like we have one hour to escape this cave."

"Or what?"

"What do you mean?"

"What will happen if we don't escape?" Ron asked, his voice growing shrill.

Harry blinked. "I dunno, but I'm not particularly keen to find out."

"Well that's just great!" Ron threw up his hands. "I wanted to take a nap, but no! You had to go through the creepy magic closet door!"

Harry scowled back. "I didn't make you come with me, Ron."

"Like hell I'm going to let my best mate wander off into certain death!"

Harry opened his mouth to protest, but Ron held up his hand. "Don't you even try to dispute that, because it's  _always_  certain death with you, Harry! Ever since we were eleven! So stop always acting like I'm going to let you leave me behind!"

The two men stood facing each other, their hands balled into fists. Ron's gritted his teeth in frustration until Harry finally looked away, ashamed.

Wordlessly, they began searching the cave. The waterfall seemed to be their best bet at first, until they realized that the rightmost path angled down and opened into a massive chamber with black, mossy water at the bottom. High above them, a stream of golden light shone down from a small hole in the ceiling. Even with a full-strength Levitation Charm, they knew they'd never reach it.

"This place gives me the creeps," Harry muttered, and they moved back into the smaller room with the stalagmite. Here, too, there were a few small holes in the rock that were far too small to safely traverse without crawling on their hands and knees. Ron shrieked and jumped back as a spider scurried out of one.

"Thanks," he said, as Harry crushed it under his boot. "And...er...sorry for earlier. I lost my temper."

"It's not true, you know," Harry said. "Me thinking you ought to ditch me, that is. But truthfully, I sometimes wonder why anyone would want me around."

Ron sat down on a rock and scoffed. "You're not getting rid of me with that pity party, and you know it."

"I just…" Harry sat next to Ron and pulled his knees to his chin. "That other room...it reminds me of a bad place that I went once. There were—"

"Inferi. Loads of them. I remember." Ron shuddered.

A rumbling noise filled the air, and both men stood, their wands at the ready.

"Quick!" Harry yelled.

"The other room!" Ron shouted back, as dust rained down from the ceiling.

They ran towards the waterfall, only to be stopped in their tracks by the horrifying screech of the undead.

Harry froze, his face ashen.

"Oi! Take this, you rotten lot!" Ron sent a jet of yellow light from his wand, loosening some rocks in the ceiling over the path leading up to where they stood. The rocks crushed a few Inferi and blocked the progress of the others, but it wouldn't hold them forever. Harry was still frozen, a faraway look in his eyes, and Ron had to grab him by the sleeve to drag him back into the other room. As he turned, though, he saw spiders had begun pouring from both of the small passageways. Each wave of arachnids appeared to grow larger as they skittered towards them.

"Merlin's bloody balls!" Ron swore, pulling Harry back down the narrow passageway towards the blank rock wall where they'd arrived.

He pressed Harry against the wall and then stood in front of him, his wand drawn.

"Come and get some, you bastards!" He roared, blasting spiders with his wand.

Harry shook his head and finally seemed to come out of his daze.

"A little help here!" Ron said, and Harry joined him, blasting spiders and sending powerful Slicing Hexes at the Inferi.

"You know, I had rather hoped for a different sort of evening," Ron shouted over the din. "But I have to admit, this  _is_  rather satisfying, eminent doom notwithstanding!"

Harry grinned back. "Honestly, couldn't think of a better bloke to die with than you."

"Likewise."

" _ **DING! YOUR TIME HAS EXPIRED! THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATRONAGE!"**_

A deafening voice cut through the air. Both Harry and Ron covered their ears and squeezed their eyes shut to block it out.

Then, silence.

Ron opened his eyes and blinked. He was lying on the leafy bed, without a spider or undead corpse in sight. He leapt up in confusion, stumbling with sleep, and noticed that Harry was slumped on the floor with his head against the side of the bed. Moments later, Harry let out a yell and rolled into a crouch, his wand at the ready.

"Where are the—a dream?" Harry's voice was puzzled.

"I know, weird, right?" Ron looked at his watch. About an hour had passed. "Let's get out of here, yeah? That package can wait for tomorrow."

"Actually, that won't be necessary." A familiar voice made them turn towards the door, where the witch from before stood. With a flourish of her wand, she transformed into none other than George Weasley.

"Well?" George asked. "What do you think of my  _Subconscious Escape Room_?"

Harry and Ron advanced on him, their expressions dubious.

"You know what, dear brother?" Ron asked, grinning menacingly, "I'd say you owe us both a round of drinks for our troubles."

"Indeed," Harry said, nodding sagely, his fingers digging into George's shoulder. "After a trick like that, I'd say you owe us a treat."

With George looking quite chastened between them, Harry and Ron frog-marched him down the stairs towards the pub, only pausing momentarily to share a mischievous glance.

_Trick or treat_ , indeed!


End file.
